The Necroplanicus-the Book of Dead Projects

On return from her lengthy confinement, Snowhite returned to work and exploited the latest legislation of “Take your Child to Work” by continuing to wet nurse whilst intermittently reading the local Danish press Editorial entitled “Sedition - a means of creating havoc in the workplace ”.

Tahini is a favourite in themiddle east next to lambs testicles, and the combo is great

Unfortunately, eating gyros with tahini (sesame seed paste) while at the keyboard was not a good idea. Tahini droppings in the keyboard cause the keys to stick and the planner can only type the digits 4,7,9 when updating/editing the schedule.



Stacy

Participate at the Project Management Knowledge Base!

An old friend enters the room but says nothing. Could this be the start of another Necroplanicus mystery?

The secret is that V5 has an undo button, it is like open sesame

there’s no undo button, but it is compatible with black & white monitors.

Is there an undo button on that by any chance?

Anyway when Alu Baba said Open Sesame, it turned out it was not a cave full of Alu_minium, but a crypt where white Elephant projects was buried.. and a version 5.3456789 of P3

Regardless of the background interference and inference, Snowhite hit the undo button on her P3 Version 5.168 then phoned the Poisioned Dwarf.

Yes it is Alu Baba, a his hi-jackers, of threads, open sesame seeds, and I will show how to recover Alu-minium

and suddenly...Darkness All over! oh, it’s a bird! No! it’s Batman! and he shouted! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GIGO?

I DID SOME INPUTS A FEW DAYS AGO, BUT IT NEVER CAME OUT!



it wasn’t too long, it’s just somekind of an ALU!

Dear JUNKER,



This is not the appropriate website to say your junky statements...Please put your junks elsewhere Junker...Also, did you notice that you are messaging yourself in this subject, only wacky junker like yourself tell these tales from the crypt...

Maybe Sneezy is the culprit despite his nasal problems, and maybe he got to Snow White, giving her a case of avian flu

Take your Jihad where you wanto but not here

Folks,



definitely not cubans...i love the easy bit, i’m lazy!

I have a problem with these camel jockeys hi-jacking the storyline

Planing is not the be all and end all. You can plan as much as you like, but the fairy tales can take it away from you. Necrophilia is a problem, but projects just don’t die

The Project is dead...long live The Project! That’s in short term...This Necro Planicus subject has nothing to do with Planning...And I appreciate from the bottom of my planicus to change this necro subjects and replace them by more joyful Projects...



Regards,

Maybe Snow White has the lead in the jean pool as she wears Wranglers

The way bean counters are, they have their own agendas, like running a porn library on site is nothing new. However, as to their performance, that is always suspect, and as such, maybe Dopey, is not the number one suspect.

Sharing a common gene pool via his fathers only sibling, Dopey the Bean Counter had an uncanny knack of holding down two jobs on site at once, a feat many of the Planning Contractors lusted after.

Meanwhile Dopey the Bean-Counter escaped suspicion. And went about his daily site tour without anyone bothering him or knowing what he did.

Grumpy the Site Manger was justifiably aggrivated. Civils progress was going backwards. Six of his civil squad had downed tools, most picks and shovels and walked off the site in single file in order to get finger printed and DNA swabbed.

Snowhite on the other hand was going to play the single mother card. The pregnancy was an unplanned. No mitigation had been taken.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Shady’s wife was giving him a hard time as she suspected more than a minor transgression had taken place whilst on she had been on a hen weekend in

Wa’send 9 months previously.

Large in the trouser is quite normal for dwarfs, was this act planned?

The lads at smoke shed B had already discounted Shifty the Site Planner as the father as he was too busy trying to work out a solution for an undo button for an international software company. However, the rumour that he was rather large in the trouser department had emerged from the shower room and was confirmed by the Site Secretary Batilda who currently had a 20 to 1 bet on at Ladbrokes

Hi Anoon,



You’re telling me you only work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and you get to sleep?! Man, you’re on easy street.



Chris

Shifty comes to work all dressed in black with a pink tie, because the project is dead

Melkatrazz, the spawn of the blonde site secretary with the 32 waist, but do not exclude the site planner, Shifty, also short and has a beard

All fingers were obviously pointed to the Site Manager, twas was a daily site occurance, but the fact that every Site Manager in the world is called Grumpy did not help the lads in the T shack to contribute to the identity of the sperm donator present at the conception of Snowhites child, Melkatrazz.

Me think’s it was a dwarf, as the the child had a beard, maybe Grumpy the short site manager?

which was a hell of a lot more interesting as the entire site was debating who had fathered Snowhites child.

working on dead projects is 24 hrs a day; 7 days a week; and all the rest is sleep! you got 12 months of summer and all the rest is winter! you got no time to resign!

Just back to the land of no rush hour, expensive beer, sunny long days and evening swims, M had had her fill of mince tatties neeps, skirlie, rain and midgies. She was surprised in deed to learn that, considering the demand for plannersm, that anyone of you worked Fridays and Monday.

Cruuumbs! I never expected that!

POETS Day

Mary had a little lamb, missing in the bush, Jack beans stalk tried to help find in the field, its seems nothing relate.

va confersaytions juz bean got morr insayn? Watts gong on?

and espeshully Handcock eggs cos they is not part of an balansed diet so is not pollitticaly rite

Diddunt you no that eggs is band. They is full of salmon and ella....whoever they r.

Spelling or content??? Should we bow to the Queen or bough to the Queen. Should we stand at the bow or the bough of the ship, shoot a bough-and-arrow.....geddit? Spelling defines content.



Just gimme the grilled mars-bar.

As the clock ticked 8:45, RANDALL made an an assumption.

Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?

They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.

But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

Spell checking Clive! As with project plans, it is the content not the spelling of a header that is important.

As the clock ticked 8:45, Randell made an an assumption.

Charlie....Anoon...Charlie.....Anoon?

They both made very little sense and the case could be argued quite easily by a slight case of schitzophrenia.

But what about everyone else? Surely Ogghams OCD with regard to grilled mackerel was not highlighted in earlier threads and what of Gwen, had her use of words nobody ken the meaning of increased??

After returning from a week working away, Oliver found that that everybody on the planning planet forum had gone quite insane.

Where once talk of logic networks filled the air, now insane ramblings were common-place, even with no Charlie in sight.

Come on Chris, we planners don’t need to know what has gone before, we are only concerned with how to get to the required goal in the shortest possible time - hence Mornington Crescent!!!!

I’ve just read back over the past couple of dozen posts and find myself wondering how on earth we got here! There are a number of possible explanations; one that springs to mind is that we are all incredibly talented individuals with a flair for free-wheeling creativity. Alternatively it could be that we’re all completely bonkers.

Its like honey... If u take litle its become energy, if more you got diabeties. Is it Cliff?

Grilled mackeral with rocket - super! Follow that with the strawberries, but instead of cream, sprinkle them lightly with balsamic vinegar. I know it sounds disgusting, but wait ’til you try it.

this is real! i’ve just come from the WC and my manager is asking where the h**l i’ve been? i’m wasting the company’s time...anyone can advice a better answer? by the way i’ve already resigned...

Now your just getting picky!



Ho about freshly caught mackerel grilled lightly over an open fire on the beach and served with a watercress and rocket salad dressed with lemon vinaigrette.



Oh and fresh strawberries and cream for afters.



That should bring Oscar back from the dead, or even Norway!